Title - Taemin the Latte Boy
Author - shineepants
Reviewer - sadnitez
Story Link - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/23309/taemin-the-latte-boy-taemin
Author - shineepants
Reviewer - sadnitez
Story Link - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/23309/taemin-the-latte-boy-taemin
Title – 4/5
I like how your title is straight and simple. From it, the readers can directly tell who will be the main-character in the story – which is Taemin. It definitely attracts Taemin-biased readers (readers like me!) to read this story! You cleverly created a cute yet suitable role for Taemin – Latte Boy and this is a curiously sweet idea to me. I mean, who could resist a love story that has a cute barista called Lee Taemin? In all, this is such a simple yet loveable title!
I like how your title is straight and simple. From it, the readers can directly tell who will be the main-character in the story – which is Taemin. It definitely attracts Taemin-biased readers (readers like me!) to read this story! You cleverly created a cute yet suitable role for Taemin – Latte Boy and this is a curiously sweet idea to me. I mean, who could resist a love story that has a cute barista called Lee Taemin? In all, this is such a simple yet loveable title!
Foreword – -NIL-/10
-Not rated as there is no foreword provided-
Originality – 7/10
Truthfully said, the title reminded me of the popular Korean drama “Coffee Prince” and I find the idea refreshing because I haven’t seen any café romance fan fiction around. What also sets your story out from other Taemin fan fiction was that you make Taemin as a cute barista instead of his usual portrayals as a student or an idol. Just thinking about it tempts me to want to find out more about the story!
Flow – 13/15
The flow of the story was fine. Though the progress of relationship between both characters was slightly a bit too hasty for my taste, the story overall achieved proper pacing, making it short, simple and sweet to read.
The flow of the story was fine. Though the progress of relationship between both characters was slightly a bit too hasty for my taste, the story overall achieved proper pacing, making it short, simple and sweet to read.
Plot/Characterization – 15/20
The emphasis on the time when Min Ah visits the café daily – 8.11 was rather unique. A simple portrayal of time reveals the cuteness and innocence of Min Ah’s love as 8.11 became her daily routine to go to the café not for the latte, but to meet the cute Taemin. The emphasis on this specific time subtly added a sense of romantism and this just makes this story all the more sweeter ^^
I find it really suitable that you choose to depict Taemin as a cute yet slightly cheeky barista. But I wish that there were more descriptions about his looks (e.g – the color of his hair, what was his hairstyle, how did he look like in his uniform etc.) With more description about Taemin, the images of his cheeky grin, his beauty etc. will come more naturally to mind and this will definitely upped his attractiveness in the story! Likewise for Min Ah, you can describe more about her looks and styles so that it will be easier to visualize the story and the characters ^^
In all, I find the plot and story rather loveable and cute! Hee hee~ (>v<)
Writing style – 17/20
Your writing style was simple and easy to understand. This makes reading all the more enjoyable and I especially like how you put breaks in between to signal a new sequence of events. I would like to suggest that you can italics Min Ah’s emotions and thoughts so that it will be easier to identify among the content.
E.g.: I laid my stuff down at my regular table and rushed to the counter.
They got a new barista? He's kind of cute...
For the song lyrics of Juliette, you may try using a different font for the lyrics or centralize them. Again, this helps to differentiate it from the body of content.
What I’ve raised are just some points that I would like to provide some suggestions. They are not errors on your parts. Overall, I enjoyed your writing style! ^^
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary – 8.5/10
Your English is good! There aren’t any major spellings or grammatical errors found. But you have to take note of a few sentences here and there.
E.g.: I hurried inside the door and promptly checked my watch.
I hurried myself into the café and promptly checked my watch
E.g.: By know he probably knows I like him, does this mean he likes me, too?
By now, he probably knows I like him. Does this mean he likes me too?
Be careful of overusing commas as this may slightly breaks a sentence’s fluidity.
E.g.: He usually anticipated my arrival, and would never fail to put a smile on my face.
He usually anticipated my arrival and would never fail to put a smile on my face.
E.g.: "So, does this make us a couple?" he asked, as he drove me back home.
"So, does this make us a couple?" he asked as he drove me back home.
Other than these minor errors, the content was clear, easy to understand and extremely readable. Good job!
Overall enjoyment – 3.5/5
This is certainly a pleasant read about a sweet love story between Min Ah and my idol bias, Taemin. Will I hope to read a sequel out of it?
Of course! ^^
TOTAL – 68/85 (80 %)
